Finally March is here.
Any special event on March? Well, for me I had an important date there; March the 5th marked the day where a younger brother of mine is scheduled to fly somewhere to continue his degree. Still can't believe that he's now no longer in Malaysia. The first in my siblings to study abroad. I miss him already. A very kind, lovely and sweet brother of mine. (My two sisters will agree with me about this. :) Hi kak, hi adik. *wave hand*)
That day at the airport, I just hold back my tears when the time for departure was announced. I could still stay calm and just reminded myself that it was exactly like the old days, those days where we were apart coz he needed to go back to his hostel. Perhaps this kind of thought will help me to keep calm. But it was different. The background was never like this. No airport, no big luggage, no red eyes. Well, I still managed to not to show my tears, till I witnessed the touching moment between my brother and my dad. My dad hugged him tightly and I could see the love was flowing and travelling between them and at this very moment, I can still remember the mood, the face expressions, I was really moved.
It breaks my heart every time I think about my dad's face at that precious moment. *wipe tears* It's very rare for me to see my dad hugs his son like that, a hug like it's a day after being separated for years, he was hugging my brother as if he's still my dad's little boy, a hug where you can feel the atmosphere suddenly turns dull and all you can do is just hoping that the time will pause and let yourself embrace the mood and love.
What was I thinking at that time? I cried because I guess, maybe all this while, my brother really long to get a warm hug from dad. I can sense that the hug had gave him an extraordinary spirit. And at time I was very sure that love is the most powerful thing that can offer you strength to face life, and inspire you to keep surviving, especially the love from parents. I know everybody longs to be told that they are loved and they have parents to support them in whatever decisions they make.
I read somewhere that there's a survey done about grown up sons. Most of them say that they always want to hear the 'I love You - I am proud of you' from their fathers. They long to get hugs and have affectionate relationship with fathers when they can be called grown-ups. How many fathers that still hug and kiss the forehead of their sons every time they meet and part? Are pats-on-back still mean 'well done, son' or 'all the best, son'?
After I saw that moment between my dad and brother, I promised to myself that when my kids grow up I will still give them hugs and kisses and praises and loves as much as I give them when they are babies. There's no thing such as 'too much love'. Rather, lots of people lack love. They don't get enough love that they deserve. And that my dear, is something which can affect your inner self, your motivation, and your life. Believe me.
If you love someone, give them your time. When you are giving your time to others, it means that they are important to you, coz you are giving them something limited, something that never stops and never returns. This reminds me about what Professor Morrie said. (Again. Well I just finished reading that book, somehow words from that book still linger in my mind.)
"You know what really gives you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give. I don't mean money, Mitch [the name of the student recording the conversation]. I mean your time. Your concern."
"Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purposes and meanings. There's nothing in there about salary."
"Giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to healthy as I ever feel."
To relate this issue to me myself, I love my daughter so much, so I give her my time. I postponed chasing my own dreams coz I wanna get busy offering my time and breath and love to my daughter. She deserves all those things from me. I am sure I made the right decision when I chose to become a full-time-at-home mother. Coz there is no regret in raising, teaching, and taking care of the amanah Allah has given me.
"If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important. A our great poet Auden said, 'Love each other or perish'." -Professor Morrie